You grab the cheese, I’ve got the whine.

But who am I kidding, we all know that I’ll bring the cheese too.  tiddy boom ching!

Alright team, please kindly give me a brief moment of your time while I spin you my sad tale, and then we’ll move on to pigs, slides, and shoes.

<<<cue world’s tiniest violins>>>

Last Thursday afternoon in the midst of Asher’s Physical Therapy assessment (he just might walk one day!) and taking him to the doctor to discover that he had an ear infection in BOTH ears (though without a fever or tears) I started to get that nagging feeling deep in my chest and back that the you-know-what was about to hit the ol immune system fan.  Fast forward about 3 hours and sure enough I was knocked down hard with the flu.  So hard.  So bad.  Without a doubt, the worst illness that I’ve ever had in my life.  I had aches and pains and chills and I’m not going to lie, some tears, and it was horrible and sort of seemed to be never ending.  I’m more or less back on my feet, victoriously needing to tell my tale of survival, and I’m hoping that this means that I will never get sick again.  I think that’s how it works, right?

So while I was knocking on death’s door with the nose of the netty pot, Drew was doing double parent duty for Asher for days, and he killed it.  He and Asher took the playground by storm, Asher discovered the climbing wall and the slide, they visited the pig that lives in a dog house in our neighbor’s yard (you can bet that I will be dedicating a whole post to that pig, because the whole situation is so odd.  To me.) and I was greeted with warm meals and piles of folded laundry.  Who is this guy?  I have been known to pat Drew’s knee and affectionately tell him that he’s going to make someone a helluva a wife one day, but the truth is he’s just a really awesome husband.  I know that I’m being all braggy here, but Drew needs some bragging on…I guarantee that I’m not the only one that didn’t think my flu-cation was much of a picnic, and he rose to the occasion well above and beyond the call of duty.  Make sure to give him a big kiss next time you see him, okay?

What else did I promise you?  Oh right, shoes.  So per the PT’s suggestion, we went to StrideRite and bought Asher some very precious (and very on sale if any of you are local) new shoes that we are assured will help him on his long journey towards walking.  Drew and I were all excited that we were going to strap these puppies on and Asher was going to start running, but as it turns out, Asher hates these shoes with the kind of passion that most infoddlers reserve for the thermometer.  (Nope, not that one, you know which thermometer I’m talking about) and will have nothing to do with them.  This is not because of how they feel or fit.  No he passed his judgment before they made it on to his feet and now starts crying and saying no while waving his hands around to get rid of the bad smell that must be emanating from them before we even pull at the velcro.  He seriously hates them.  Should we actually put them on his feet, he won’t put his feet on the floor and kicks his legs and kind of tears at his pants just to make sure that we understand that they are eating his toes in there and offending him to the very core of his little fashionista being.  Hmmm.

Proving that he comes by this stubborn streak honestly, of course I sent him to daycare with them on, and it was reported at the end of the day that he mostly sat and pouted that day, wouldn’t crawl around outside, and as soon as we got in the car he started kicking his feet and saying “off off off”.  Rest assured that these shoes are not hurting his feet, there are no seams on the inside, no marks on his chubby little Fred Flinstones when we take them off, it appears that they just crush his budding shoe sensibility.  The only person that finds this even more amusing than Drew and me is my mom who all but yelled, “PAYBACK!” when I told her the story of Asher’s shoes.  Apparently I was very particular about the seams across the toes of my socks and ruined many a morning because I could “feel” them in my shoes.  She may have actually cackled.  Glad that you’re enjoying this Mom.  So We’re easing into big boy shoes, easing out of flu doom and gloom, and heading towards what is hopefully going to be a health and sun filled weekend.

And slightly unrelated?  Drew and I have started calling ourselves Love Billionaires and it makes me feel like we’re filthy rich.  Good stuff.