It goes without saying that while Asher is undoubtedly his own little unique soul, he’s also going to spend his life navigating the genetic hand that Drew and I have dealt him. One of the things that it would appear that I have offered to our little ginger-domed kiddo is a total lack of any significant growth of hair in his early life. The family joke is that Mom used to scotch tape bows to my head well into my second year to convey some kind of gender information to the outside world. (I was combating a lot of 70s hand-me-downs as a young child, and from the pictures it appears that I REALLY needed those bows to let people know that I was indeed a girl.) Anyway, I bring all of this up because although Asher has very little hair on his head, he does have some, and most of it is in the back. The way back. Like, the mullet back. So while this 80s twist on our kiddo’s Yoda-esque doo is pretty adorable, there are moments when the wind picks up and I look at his little red mullet blowing in the wind and wonder if maybe it’s time for an intervention of the snipping kind. Drew says that this is a no-brainer, we are not cutting his hair, but then Drew also thinks that Asher looks his best in some kind of plaid/stripe/polkadot combination of contrasting colors, so I’m not sure that his opinion is to be trusted.
The kicker came when I looked up mullets to find out what classification of mullet Asher actually has on this very informational website, and came across this:
Asher’s mullet is called the “Parental Negligence Child Abuse” Mullet? Can this stand? And speaking of standing, can I stand to bring scissors (probably nail cutting scissors, but scissors nonetheless) to his little coif? What do you think? To cut or not to cut? Should we start dressing him in vintage shirts, tight-fitting jeans, and some thick rimmed glasses and declare him a hipster? Fuggettaboutit and leave well enough alone? When exactly are we supposed to cut baby’s first hair? Ahhhh the dilemmas of parenting in modern times!
Ok, ok, ok, so I’m obviously being a little tongue and cheek here, but I’m kind of serious about wondering if I’m going to really regret cutting Asher’s hair. These are the moments that I wish that his future self would sweep in in a DeLorean from the future and say, “Mom! Chill! The only thing that makes us red heads cooler is a red head with a mullet! Thanks for not cutting my hair!” and then disappear back to his future of wild success and world peace making. What? Seems reasonable enough that in the future they’ve perfected the DeLorean, doesn’t it?