My boys are in Louisiana today. And tomorrow. For the rest of the week. Nothing woke me up other than a little sunshine peeking through the curtains, I showered to the sound of a silent house, I read a book over a cup of coffee and cleaned out a couple of my drawers. Clearly I’m taking indulgent self portraits, I think I may have a wine date with a dear friend this evening, and I have delusions of grandeur about the amount of cleaning that I’ll be able to get done in the next 48 hours before jumping on a plane to see our Southern Family and get my two favorite men back in my arms. I didn’t think I would, but I cried when we said goodbye in the airport. That made me feel like a mom, like a woman, and kind of like a sissy, but a sweet sissy. Right now I’m simultaneously thinking about how much I’m missing Asher especially, while also thinking about how cool it is to have the tiniest bit of breathing room. Leaving work and thinking, “I can do whatever I want with my time this evening” is worth ten hours at a spa. When I was about to give birth, I either read or was told that women not only give birth to a child, but we also birth guilt. That Mom Guilt is potent stuff…all we want is 10 minutes to ourselves, and then we get it, and all we can think about is getting back to the kiddo and wishing that we just had a moment to ourselves. Funny business, this motherhood. I’m trying not to squander my time alone with useless guilt, and am instead making myself dream of something delicious for dinner, smiling to myself about the wonderful time that we had in North Carolina this past weekend (more to come on that!) and focusing on how cool it is that I have an amazing husband and child to miss and look forward to seeing in a few short days. And speaking of that amazing husband, how cool is it that Drew is traveling with Asher? Drew’s a bonafied rockstar.
Ok. Enough time with the computer, I have time! On my own! I gotta go!
Flux Capacitating 