What a day for us yesterday was! We had our ultrasound and found out that we are definitely having a boy! Though this does not often happen to me, I have to say that I am at a little bit of a loss trying to communicate what emotions are associated with ‘seeing’ our baby for the first time yesterday…the best two words that I can come up with are surreal joy. I have been taken with the alien notion that there is a little human incubating inside of me sharing DNA contributions from both Drew and me, but the experience of seeing our boy yesterday flipped it from a cerebral experience to a heart experience. And here is where the onslaught of cliches comes tumbling in because I will tell you what, I think that both Drew and I fell in love with such a ferocity and the only thing that I’m left to fear now is how much more intense and real this love is going to feel when we are holding this child and feeling his breath against our skin.
I’m coming to find out that talking about parenthood, even at this stage, is a simultaneously unique and universal experience. While it’s true that Drew and I are going to be this child’s only parents which will be an inherently unique experience to our family, it’s also true that all of the things that I have heard so many other parents (including my own!) say are becoming real in a charming, predictable, and sometimes amusing way. We’ve all heard people list off all of the things that they will not be doing as parents, and then enjoyed the sweet reality that kicks in when in fact parents do exactly what they said they wouldn’t do. Grandparents seem to get a kick out this in particular. So, of course Drew and I have our respective laundry lists of things that we won’t do starting with the biggies like abandonment and concluding with the smaller more negotiable things like sugary cereals (not allowed) and how to handle a grocery store tantrum (giving the crying child nonchalantly to the woman with the cart closest to mine and then quietly finding the nearest exit.) etc. Well one of those things for me is how people handle the ultrasound and already I am nibbling on my first piece of humble pie. I did not think that I would be a woman who would carry her ultrasound photos around with her in her purse to show to any unsuspecting passerby, and yet, we’ve only had these puppies in our possession for the last 24 hours, and I caught myself just in the nick of time before mentioning them to our waiter last night to see if he might take the bait and want to take a peek. I am becoming the crazy ultrasound picture mom. And I know that this is just the beginning. So dear devoted blog readers (all four of you!) this is my preemptive apology for what I’m about to do, but would you like to see our son? He’s as perfect as he can be, and if you would like to come over for coffee sometime, I’ll surely pop in the DVD of the ultrasound and tell you how the valves of his heart work, because that is how crazy ultrasound picture moms roll.