This cracked me up

Happy belated Easter to everyone!  I will be posting some pictures from our wonderful weekend in NC shortly, but for today, I thought I would share something that arrived in my inbox.  I really get a kick out of the funny things that kids say (who doesn’t?) and this is an aspect of parenthood that Drew and I are particularly looking forward to.  I’ve been told that I was a very (overly) talkative child, so I’m sure that there’s quite a bit of payback headed in our direction–sorry Drew–so we will hope that at least the majority of the embarassing stuff  will occur with family and not in front of the ladies who lunch etc.  Anyway, with that in mind, I thought I would share the following:

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1.  She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.  Mostly to clean the house.
3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.  They had to get their start from men’s bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1.  We’re related.
2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.  I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1.  His last name.
2. She had to know his background.   Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?
3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?   Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot.
2.  She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.  My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1.  Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2.  Mom.  You can tell by room inspection.   She sees the stuff under the bed.
3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?
1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1.  Mothers don’t do spare time.
2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1.  On the inside she’s already perfect.   Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.   I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I’d get rid of that.
2.  I’d make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

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